My life in four words...

I COOK A LOT! Quite literally, much of my time is spent feeding my boys. Between planning for meals, shopping for food, preparing food, cleaning up food, and occasionally re-purposing food, I cook a lot! For this one all-consuming task, all of my boys (big and small) depend on me. Jesse now considers it an especially good day if he knows that he's NOT "on his own for dinner." In fact, he no longer cares what we are having as long as he doesn't have to prepare his own meal. And NO, he doesn't have to fend for himself often, but even having to warm up his own leftovers or make himself a sandwich constitutes being on his own for dinner to Jesse. You can hear the "Yes!" under his breath when I answer his almost daily question with, "Yes, I'm fixing something for supper."

All of the boys - including Chris - just generally feel loved and cared for and well, happier, when I prepare their food for them. I make their lunches and they feel spoiled. I cook a pot roast and they're grateful. I bake a dessert and I'm the best mom on the planet. I do these things fairly regularly, and yet they continue to be happy and grateful with almost every new feeding opportunity. Shoot, I can make grilled cheese sandwiches, and as long as I make them and serve them up to them on a plate, they're thrilled!

Just knowing I have a plan for their dinner quite literally makes them feel more secure. If someone asks me, "What's for dinner? and I reply with "I have no idea," I can actually see them deflate right before my eyes. Their shoulders drop and they start to look sad and confused and sort of betrayed. It kind of cracks me up - how easy it is to make a man (of any age, apparently) feel loved and relatively content - just feed him. I am going to try to embrace this role of "cook" for the blessings that it allows me to bring to my boys instead of resenting the endless time and effort it takes.